Caring for An Aging Parent When You Are an Only Child

Making the right care decisions for an aging parent is generally a family matter.  In most cases, adult children will gather together to discuss their elder parent’s needs, explore options for care and share the responsibilities that comes with caring for an elderly loved one.

But what do you do if you are an only child with no siblings to lean on for advice and support?

It’s a question being asked in about one in five families in America today.  The size of American families has been shrinking since 1960 and it’s currently estimated that 20 per cent of households are comprised of one-child families.  As the size of families continues to get smaller while the elder population grows, the burden of caring for an aging parent will fall more and more upon adults who are an only child.

If you are an only child, caring for an elder parent can seem like an overwhelming challenge.  It can be even more unsettling for women who have their own families to care for or someone who lives far enough away that regular hands-on care or oversight is virtually impossible. Many only child caretakers lament the sense of isolation they feel at having no one turn to for help at a time when help is needed most.

Fortunately, home care for elderly living in their own homes is an option that can relieve the stress on an only child caretaker.  There are many reputable agencies that provide essential services to elderly living in their own homes that range from temporary assistance to around-the-clock, 24-hour specialized care.  If you are an only child, you’ll be reassured knowing that a parent who can age in place in the familiarity and comfort of his or her own home will typically experience better wellness outcomes than if placed in an assisted living community.

The cost of in-home care for elderly is another concern for single child adult caretakers.  The good news is that in-home senior care costs are less than what assisted living communities charge.  Most private home care agencies have affordable and flexible plans that can be tailored to a single-child caretaker’s lifestyle.  This flexibility of choice allows them to maintain their sense of autonomy while still participating in the care of their parent to the level of their abilities.

As a home care professional for more years than I care to admit, the best advice I can offer to an only child struggling with making the right care decisions for an elderly parent is to be proactive in the process.  Don’t wait until your parent needs care to find it.  Every person – whether it’s the sibling or parent – is unique, so don’t expect to find a one-size-fits-all solution at the midnight hour.  It doesn’t exist.  What’s best for everyone involved is to have authentic, heart-to-heart discussions about home care options as early on as possible.  When the time comes to care for those who cared for you, you’ll be better positioned to do the right things at the right time.

Talk to home care agencies now, not later.  Explore their capabilities, experience and reputation.  If possible, meet with them face-to-face and get to know them personally as well as professionally.  Find one you are comfortable with and confident in and when the day comes to care for the one who cared for you, you’ll enjoy peace of mind knowing you made the best decisions possible.

Senior woman in medical mask with social worker visiting her at home